The day you went away

Afterward, when it was all over, Cam brought me hot tea and chocolate and laid by my side on an old horse rug, as I inhaled the scent of horse and watched little wisps of cloud chase each other through the beautiful blue sky.

I thought i would be consumed with grief. I thought I would feel a literal cracking of my heart. Instead, silent tears just coursed down my cheeks as I wondered at the world still being beautiful, and I felt this tiny shift of... Something. Not peace, as such. Not finality. Just something in between that the thing I have been most dreading and consumed by for months was over. 

We spent hours together in the morning, him picking at the sweetest grass and leading me wherever he chose. His mane and tail had grown long and flowing for us, and we have kept some to immortalize him into something we can hold close each day. He went with flowers in his mane, the autumn sun beating down in his weary body, and his favorite thing in the world - a carrot in his teeth. He had happiness and contentment in his final moments, loved so deeply and strongly by two girls who will never, ever forget him and the joy he so unconditionally gave us. 

Unsure

How I would get life sized cutout Ed shipped from England without getting him bent. 

Hmmm.

Current musings

It's Wednesday; my first day off in what seems like forever - which is totally not true seeing as most of March was spent idly laying by a pool drinking cocktails in Maui, then an extra long Easter weekend to include my birthday in.

But I've been working my little (read: huge) bottom off at work, longer hours than usual, and so today feels like one of those 'aaaaaaaaaah' days.

It's raining. This is very, very good news. We are feeding out hay and hard feed to everything on the property; usually it's just ponies getting an obligatory scoop of chaff a night. Now they're all being pumped full as there is NO grass. None. No rain = No grass = no feed = hungry hungry beasts. I never, ever thought before we moved to the farm we would be SO addicted to watching the radar to see if there were a few drops coming our way. It's like a daily ritual. Phone calls are made enthusiastically when we see a band of rain predicted. Screenshots of said rain are sent. Happy dances are performed. Husbands bolt out in underwear at the first sign of daybreak to check the rain gauge. All very exciting.

Due to rain - dogs and ponies are all snuggled up in their new matching rugs. So much cute.

It is my birthday shindig this weekend. The venue is booked, middle eastern banquets ordered, hotel arranged, hair appointment made. Dress purchased, ditto incredibly uncomfortable 'form slimming' under garments. Shoes? Nope. As the self proclaimed queen of heels, there is nothing in my 150+ pairs in my cupboard that I think are good enough. Dilemma!

Tripadvisor is currently receiving a fair work out in our household. With a trip to Nashville, Tenessee and then Chicago occurring later this year, we are having to do a little online exploring. It seems fried chicken and 'biscuits' - whatever they are - feature fairly heavily on the 'top restaurants' section for Nashy. Hmm. I'm mostly focusing on locating each and every cowboy boot store and planning where to unleash my unlimited spending money I have been promised. Chicago we have been to previously, so I'm a little more confident there for where to spend Cam's hard earned cash. 

Friday Night Lights - finished. Done. All over. We finished the entire lot this past week, after binge watching over the Christmas break then having life and other tedious commitments get in the way of our Netflix viewing pleasure. Unsure where to go from here. Perhaps Nashville, to get us into the spirit of the above mentioned vacation. And to keep ensuring I insert 'y'all' into any sentence I can. 

Zzz

Lessons learned from camping with cows:

Don't sleep next to a horny bull. And I do not mean my husband. This guy was grumbling allll night that there were lady cows looking for some action nearby and I indeed felt his frustration he was unable to do his manly duty. 

Literally got only a few minutes sleep between his grunting and groaning and the carny crew arriving at three am to bash in all kinds of tents and whatnot.

However: sleeping (read: laying awake) under a sky full of stars, whilst fully encased in fly mesh so no bitey horrors could consume me was aaaaaamazing.

Successful show? Could say that. My darling Lols took out champion, Luce came second in a really strong class, and I somehow was awarded herdsman of the day and have a gorgeous big trophy plaque to display on my wall. 

Addicted to this cow thing? You bet!

How old am I?

Listening to the Venga Boys and sucking hot chocolate through a Tim Tam as a straw. Feeling like I'm back in grade six at a sleep over.

On a side note: I'm going camping with my cows tonight.

How?

In age order, my cats are *actually* called:

Cleocatra

Sabataj

Zambezi

Wushka

Woki

Jabari.

What they actually get called?

Asian man

Tajatron

Weasel wiggle

Dead leopard

Tiny Mexican drug cartel

Barn dog.

How? Why?!

I don't get it

So, I am officially done work for the holidays - two and a bit weeks of freeeeeedom and sleeping in, yeah!

But... I'm home now, and it's only 2pm, and.... I'm kinda bored.

Like.... Now what?

I mean. I could clean. I could tidy up. I could watch Netflix and try and find junk food. But I feel no interest in any of those things, yet don't know what I do want to do.

This may have something to do with the fact my leg is in plaster and there's bugger all of the things I actually want to do that I can do. It's just weird that I've been waiting for what feels like months and months to do nothing... And now I'm doing nothing, I'm really freaking bored of doing said nothing.